StepMom
by elleecee285
Summary: What if Kathy died after giving birth to Eli? What if Elliot left soon after that? What if Olivia were left as the Stabler kids' guardian? How does she handle taking care of her partner's kids while trying to find him?  I'm not great with summaries
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: 1) This story is set after Eli is born in season 9. 2) Please tell me what you think of this, I'm not sure if I want to continue this story but this idea popped into my head and I figured I'd try it out. 3) If I do continue this story, I promise I will make longer chapters than this, but this is more of a prologue than an actual chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own L&O:SVU **

**CHAPTER ONE**

_Olivia! Olivia Benson! Wake up!_ My conscience screamed at me. _NOW!_ I groggily opened my eyes and felt something light on my chest and lap. As I turned my head I felt a little bit of pain and some pounding in my head, then I saw the slightly deflated airbag protruding from the steering wheel in front of me before remembering what happened what I could only guess was moments before.

I looked over, remembering where I was driving to and who I was with and saw an unconscious and pregnant Kathy Stabler next to me.

"Kathy!" I said, waiting for a response that didn't come. "Kathy?"

I reached for the thrown radio when she didn't respond.

* * *

><p>Kathy looked straight into my eyes, making sure to make eye contact with me I'm sure, "Elliot Jr. Olivia, Elliot Jr." She quietly said before her eyes shut slowly and I had the newborn baby in my arms.<p>

I looked at the newest Stabler I was holding for a second, dumbstruck at the realization of who this little guy was and why I was holding him.

"Keep the baby warm!" The paramedic yelled at me, pulling me out of my daze as he tried to revive the unconscious Kathy while the ambulance raced to Mercy as fast as possible.

I couldn't believe the scene unfolding in front of my eyes. I was watching my partner's wife die right in front of me in an ambulance while I held their newborn son to my chest, trying to keep the infant warm.

The only thing I could think of while this was going on was her, now five children, and her husband, Elliot.

"Kathy, come back please…" I whispered quietly.

* * *

><p>I stood in the hospital waiting for Elliot to arrive, dreading the moment that I would have to tell him that he was now a single father to five.<p>

I had never been close to my partner's wife. I had truly thought she hated me all these years, until a couple weeks ago when they had me over for dinner.

"_Olivia, I know you and Elliot are really close," I reached for another dish to dry as my partner's pregnant wife washed the dishes. I wasn't sure I was going to like where this conversation was going. "And I know that if the kids or I ever needed anything, that we could call you. And that is why both Elliot and I are confident that what I am going to ask you is a good idea."_

"_What's that Kathy?" I asked, a little relieved that I was wrong. _

"_Well, Elliot and I are getting our wills redone this weekend and we thought that maybe, as long as you are okay with it, we could put you as their guardian... in case anything were to ever happen to Elliot and I before they are all 18, god forbid." She asked as she smiled at me_

"_I'm…I'm touched that you would pick me." I responded, feeling some tears trying to emerge. "I would be honored Kathy." I finally replied, earning a hug from the very pregnant woman. _

"Elliot…" I managed to get out of my mouth when he walked up to me in the hospital, again being pulled out of my haze. "El, I'm…I'm so…I'm so sorry El."

"Olivia, what happened?" He asked me while I tried to control myself.

"She coded El, she coded right in front of me, I watched her, he- the paramedic tried everything he could, the doctors tried everything they could, I made sure they did for you," I had to take a second to compose myself again before continuing. "I'm so sorry Elliot. I'm so sorry." I said to him as he looked down at me in disbelief.

**Please comment on whether or not I should continue this story, it will be greatly appreciated **


	2. Chapter 2

******Author's Note: I am so glad ya'll like this, I really didn't think this story would be liked that much. Thank you to** Ren Victoria, U.S. Marshall Mary Shannon, BenslerBaby, SVUandBonesAddict, Rhonda Roo, justliziam, Elliotandoliviababies, MeaganDawn, and Cfhonan **for all reviewing! I felt I should thank you all in this really quickly :)**** Anyways here's chapter two! I hope you all enjoy it :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own L&O:SVU... unfortunately **

**CHAPTER TWO**

_I watched my partner's wife walk towards me as I waited. _

"_Olivia?" Kathy said as she stood calmly in front of me. "Olivia, please promise me something." _

"_Kathy?" I stood, letting the thoughts run through my head. "Kathy? But you're…this isn't possible Kathy…what are you doing here? How are you here? What's happening?" _

"_Olivia, take care of them for me please…" She said as she faded away. _

I pondered the dream again as I looked in the mirror. The muted black dress hit just below the knees, my black heels already starting to hurt my feet, the lack of jewelry besides my simple silver bracelet and ring, with my hair half pulled up. All to be complimented by my depressed expression.

"Today's the day." I stated to myself as I took one last look in the mirror. Today was the day that I would watch my best friend bury his wife.

I grabbed my purse and walked out the door, just barely remembering to lock the door. I walked down the stairs and out the door of my building to hail a cab for myself over to Elliot's.

I got into the cab quietly and told the driver Elliot's address before watching the rain start to fall on the city streets.

* * *

><p>"Olivia, thank god you're here." Maureen said as she pulled Olivia into a hug. "He's been going crazy." She said when she pulled away.<p>

"Where is he?" I said as I walked in the door looking for him.

"Up stairs," She pointed towards the stairs. "In his room." She said with a depressed tone.

"I'll be back then," I said as I made my way to the stairs before turning and looking at Maureen again. "Maureen, sweetie, how are your siblings?"

"They're okay." She replied shortly. "Still in shock I think, Kathleen Lizzie and I have been crying since they heard, and Dickie is trying to be brave but we are just waiting for him to break down and cry. I think they are all okay though."

"How are you?" I asked her.

"I'm…I'm holding up Olivia, thanks." She said with a slight smile.

"I know it's hard," I said, trying to comfort her as much as I could. "It gets a little better with time though. Now, go make sure your siblings are ready, okay?"

"Yea, I will." She replied. "And Liv?" She said as I was turning again. "Thank you." Maureen said before walking away.

I watched her walk out of the room before I continued up the stairs and into Elliot's bedroom. "Elliot…?" He was sitting on his bed, holding his head in his hands. "Elliot?" I said again. "Elliot, come on." I said as I walked over and sat next to him on the bed.

"What do you want Olivia?" He asked, slowly picking his head up.

"I want you to get up, finish getting ready," I said as I noticed him sitting in his dress pants and an undershirt. "And put on a brave face for those five kids downstairs, because even though she is gone you still have them to take care of."

"Olivia, I can't." He said in reply to my spiel.

"Elliot, I know that it hurts and I know you don't want to face the music, but it's time." I said to him as softly as I could as I placed my hand on his shoulder.

"Olivia!" He yelled as he stood up from the bed, surprising me. "Don't you get it? My wife is dead! I now have a newborn son that killed my wife, along with four other kids that I am supposed to take care of on my own!" He yelled at me.

"Elliot," I said calmly as I stood up. "He did _not _kill your wife and you know that! The idiot drunk driver did! And you aren't on your own. You have everybody at work, including me, and you have your children. Maureen and Kathleen are practically grown up, with Lizzie and Dickie not far behind them."

"Olivia, don't talk to me like you know what I'm going through!" He yelled at me.

"Elliot! Don't tell me that I don't understand the pain of somebody dying!" I yelled back.

"You don't." He said, closing the space between us and speaking in a strong voice.

"Elliot. Stop acting like a child." I replied. "You aren't the only one affected by this. Your daughter's are in shock, your son is trying to hide his shock and comfort his sisters, and…and…" I started to trip up on the last few words.

"And what, Olivia?" He asked, still showing some anger.

"And I watched her die in front of me Elliot!" I finally yelled back at him. "I watched my best friend's wife die right in front of me while I held her new born son in my arms! I stood there, watching her take her last breaths, seeing her look at her youngest child for the last time!" I said to him. "Now grow up, get dressed, put a brave face on for your kids, and meet us downstairs ready to leave in ten minutes." I said sternly before walking out the door and returning back downstairs.

As I walked into the kitchen I saw the four older kids centered around the island, and Eli laying in a playpen next to the island.

"Hey Olivia." Kathleen said quietly. "Want some coffee?" She asked.

"Sure sweetie, thank you." I replied as she handed me a mug full of coffee.

We all waited in silence while we waited for Elliot. After about ten minutes the sounds of footsteps started down the stairs. As he rounded the corner Olivia saw his expression was blank.

"Let's go." He said shortly before grabbing the keys off the hook on the wall and walking out the door.

"I'll grab Eli." Dickie said as he picked up his younger brother from his playpen.

Maureen, Kathleen, Dickie, and Eli all walked out to the car behind their father, leaving Lizzie and me in the house still.

"Olivia?" Lizzie said as she slowly started walking to the door.

"Yes?" I replied.

"How long's he gonna be like this?" She asked me, obviously holding in her tears.

"I don't know sweetie," I answered, wondering the same thing. "I don't know."

She turned and hugged me quickly, catching me off guard before walking out the door to the car.

"Kathy, why did you do this to them?" I asked the silence quietly before walking through the door and shutting it behind me.

**Please review! I love hearing what ya'll think about everything. Thank you all so much again! **

**Warning: It may be Friday or Saturday before I can write again, my reading and writing SOL's are sadly this week so I have to focus on those :( You have been warned :)**


	3. Chapter 3

******Author's Note: First round of SOL's done, chapter three is written, and it's only Friday night :) Yay! So here's chapter three, hope you all like it :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own L&O:SVU... unfortunately **

**CHAPTER THREE**

I stared in the mirror as I brushed my teeth that night. The blank stare staring back at me, the hollow eyes looking at me, I looked different from how I had earlier in the week.

I stared at myself as I replayed some of the moments of today over again in my head.

_I sat in the quiet corner of the restaurant and watched everything going on around. I watched all of Elliot's family members offer their condolences and his face try not to make that slight grimace at the comments. I saw Munch and Fin flanking Elliot as he talked to everybody. The feeling of being a family in our unit was renewed as I watched everything. _

_As I watched, I noticed Elliot's youngest daughter standing at the side window of the restaurant with tears slowly rolling down her cheeks. I slowly stood and walked over to her, "Lizz-" _

"_Olivia, why did she die? She wasn't supposed to die." She said quietly as she held onto me tightly, causing me to wrap my arms around her. _

"_Shhh…shhh…I know sweetie." I said ask Lizzie cried into my jacket. "She's in a better place now sweetie." I said to her quietly, feeling her head try to nod while she sobbed. _

"_It's not fair Olivia." She replied to me. _

"_I know sweetie, I know." I said as I recalled the feelings that I had when my mother died. _

"_Olivia?" Maureen said as she and Kathleen stood near me. As I looked up I noticed the tears in the girls' eyes. _

"_Come on," I smiled slightly, pulling the girls into the hug as well. _

I carefully walked out of my bathroom and to bed as I thought about everything. I had felt almost honored that I could help comfort Elliot's daughters, if only a little.

I set the alarm on my night stand and climbed into bed before pulling the convers tightly around myself and think again. One other memory stuck in my head heavily from today that I thought about as I fell asleep.

"_Thank you Liv." Elliot said as we stood outside his door. _

"_Sure El." I replied, before adding something. "I know it's hard Elliot, and I'm sorry. I wish I could have done more, but I really did make sure they did everything they could." _

"_I know Olivia." He said as he pulled me into a hug. "Thank you for everything today. I know you being there helped the kids." He said as the hug ended and I started walking down the sidewalk to the cab waiting for me. _

_As he opened the door I heard Maureen talking to him before yelling out for me. _

"_Olivia, wait up!" Maureen said as she ran to meet me. "Thank you for everything today." _

"_Maureen, you don't have to thank me." I said to her._

"_I know, but still thank you." She repeated. _

"_You're welcome." I said to her. _

"_Olivia?" She said my name in a questioning tone. _

"_What's wrong sweetie?" I asked her as we stood there in front of their house. _

"_Is he going to be like that forever?" She said, referring to her father._

"_I don't think so," I answered. "But you call me if you need me okay?" She nodded before giving me a quick hug and saying goodbye as I walked to my cab. _

It seemed as I finally started to sleep well, my alarm went off for work. "Ugh!" I said as I swiped my hand to turn off the alarm. I hit the button on the alarm three times before I realized the sound wasn't the sound my alarm made, and that wasn't my alarm going off.

I opened my eyes and looked around my room to see what was making the sound. As I looked on my night stand again I saw the screen of my phone brightly lit. I rubbed my eyes to read the caller id on the screen, cringing from the brightness, _Elliot home_.

"Hello?" I answered trying to sound more awake than I was. "Elliot, is everything okay?"

"Olivia! Olivia, he's gone, we can't find him anywhere!" Maureen screamed into my ear. "He's gone Olivia! We looked everywhere!"

"Calm down Maureen, who's gone?" I said, sitting up in my bed now.

"Dad, dad's gone." I heard her words and I froze.

"I'll be there as soon as I can." I stated as I raced out of bed, running around throwing on clothing and tearing out of my apartment for Elliot's house in Queens.

* * *

><p>I quickly knocked on the door waiting for somebody to answer within a minute the door was open and the four oldest kids were standing there looking at me.<p>

"Okay," I started. "What happened?" I asked as I walked in, closing the door behind me.

"Lizzie got up for something to drink and heard Eli crying. She went into dad's room so see why he was still crying and he was gone." Maureen said as we all walked into the living room.

"And you checked everywhere?" I asked the kids, knowing the answer all ready but needing to ask anyway.

"Yea." Dickie said as he sat down.

"Okay, I'm going to go look again, just to make sure everything was covered okay." They all nodded as I went around the house looking to see if they had missed anything.

As I walked into the kitchen again I suck down next to their kitchen island. It hit me, he left. He was gone. Elliot had left. He had left his kids for god knows what, and to top it off, I was the guardian of his kids if anything ever happened to him or Kathy.

I was now the legal guardian to my partner's five kids.

**So...please review :) I love reading them all! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: Hey everybody! Thank you for all the comments you all left about the story. I am so glad ya'll like the story. Anyways, here's chapter four, I hope ya'll like it. :) **

**Disclaimer: L&O:SVU is not mine... :(**

**CHAPTER FOUR**

"Olivia?" I heard Maureen say as she walked quietly into the kitchen. "Olivia, are you in here?"

I couldn't bring myself to say anything as I sat on the floor, hiding behind the kitchen island. I heard her footsteps slowly walk around the kitchen. I saw her feet as she came around the island and stopped when she saw me sitting there, dazed and confused.

"Olivia?" she said as she closed the small space between us. "Are you okay? Did you…did you find him or something?" She asked me as she sat down beside me against the island.

"No Maureen." I said shortly, not trying to hide anything. "I didn't find anything."

"What's wrong then?" She asked me.

"He's gone Maureen, I think he's actually gone." I stated, still in disbelief.

She sat next to me quietly for a few minutes, both of us listening to the bickering over whose turn it was to change Eli coming from the living room.

"What's going to happen to them Liv?" She asked, sounding so much like her father while asking. "I mean, I'm old enough to be on my own and Kathleen still lives at home but she's old enough to be on her own, but Lizzie, Dickie, and Eli, what's going to happen with them?" She repeated.

"I…I'm…" I was stuttering while trying to answer it, knowing that once I said it, it couldn't be taken back. "I don't know Maureen." I said, scared to admit what I knew about the will.

"Olivia?"

"Hmmm?" I responded to my name.

"I know about the will." She said, causing my heart to skip a beat.

"Maureen," I didn't know what I wanted to say to her. "I know your parents left me as the guardian of you all but…but I'm not sure I can do this."

"Why not Olivia?" She said, trying to hide the anger in her voice.

"I live alone. I don't know how to raise children. I work all hours of the day and night, and some nights I don't come home at all. My apartment looks like a model, and my fridge is constantly empty. How am I supposed to care for you all?" I said in response.

"Seriously?" She said, sounding like the teenage girl her father always complained about. "Seriously Olivia? Do you know how much you have influenced our lives? Who cares if you've never raised a child, you have the four of us to help with Eli if that's what you're worried about. And grocery shopping isn't hard, mom took us all the time. And dad had the same hours as you so what does that matter?" She almost yelled at me.

"He had a wife to care for you all while he was gone, I'm alone." I answered back.

"Olivia, you can't send them to foster care." She told me. "They could split them up, well it'd only be Lizzie, Dickie, and Eli but still. Our grandma Stabler can't take care of them, and you can't send them to live with our mom's family, they're insane not to mention six hours away!" She paused as she looked at me. "Please Olivia, I'm begging you, please."

I looked at the girl who I had watched grow up. She had grown up so much since the first time I met her.

"_Mommy! Mommy!" I heard from the door, causing me to turn around. Walking through the doors was a blonde haired woman with a young girl who looked to be two balanced on her hip while holding the hand of another little girl who looked to be maybe seven, who I just heard. _

"_Maureen, use your inside voice sweetie." They young woman said kindly to the child. _

"_Where's daddy?" The little girl asked her mother, causing the little girl on the woman's hip to repeat "daddy." _

"_Hi, can I help you ladies?" I said as I stood up and walked over to them. _

"_Hi Kathy." Munch said as he walked down the stairs from the cribs. "Hi there Maureen, Kathleen, how are you two today?" He said, kneeling to meet the older child. _

"_Hi Munch! How are you?" The child asked. _

"_I'm good today, thanks kiddo." He responded, surprising me since I hadn't seen the man so soft since I began working here six months ago. _

"_Where's daddy?" She asked him. _

"_Hmmm…who's your dad again?" He asked, causing the little girl to make a mean face, making Munch and the woman he called Kathy laugh. _

"_I'll be right back kiddo." Munch said, standing and going back towards the interrogation room._

"_You must be Olivia." Kathy said to me, holding her hand out to shake it. "I'm Kathy Stabler, Elliot's wife, and these are out daughters Maureen," She said as she placed her hand on the older daughter. "And Kathleen." Looking at the little girl balanced on her hip. _

"_Hi, it's nice to meet you all. I've heard so much about you." I said before looking at Maureen. "You must be the little girl he is always talking about. You're even prettier than he said." I said, smiling at the little girl._

"Olivia?" Maureen said as she gently shook me.

"Huh?" I responded.

"Are you okay?" She asked me. "I know this is a lot."

"I'll be okay Maureen," I said slowly, knowing that everything she had said to me a few minutes before hand was true. "And I'll respect your parents' wishes. I'll figure something out." I answered her.

I had watched all of the Stabler children grow up since Elliot and I became partners, and I knew that if I didn't take in these kids, when he came back or when I found him, he would hand my ass to me on a silver platter.

**Any reviews are welcomed and appreciated, I love reading them :) **


	5. Chapter 5

******Author's Note: Hello everybody! Hope all has been well with everybody. This chapter is a little shorter than the others, but I think it is just as good at the others . I hope you enjoy, so without anything else here's chapter five :)**

**Disclaimer: I (unfortunately) do not own L&O:SVU **

**CHAPTER FIVE**

I walked into the bullpen calmly, try to hide the fact that I was on a mission. The familiarity of the room was gone now, as if it left with my best friend. All the memories of the good times that went on in here seemed like dreams now. Everything was different about it now.

Coming out of my little daze I noticed the emptiness of Elliot's desk, causing me to rush for the Captain's office. Talking hold of the cold metal door handle in my hand I knocked with the other hand before opening it slightly.

"Captain, can I talk to you?" I said as I opened the door fully and walked into his office, seeing him on the phone. He nodded and motioned me in as he finished his phone call. "I need to ask a couple favors."

"What do you need Liv?" He asked, standing up from behind his desk.

"I need a couple days off," I said, hesitating before continuing. "And some help."

"With what?" He questioned.

"Finding Elliot." I said, waiting for his reaction.

"Where's Elliot?" Captain Cragen worriedly asked the question I knew was coming, and feared.

"I'm not exactly sure." I answered slowly. "I got a call from Maureen really late a couple nights ago, the night of Kathy's funeral. Maureen was crying and it was oddly quiet around her from my end of the phone. And she said that he was gone, that they had all looked around for him and he wasn't there. I went over there, searched through the house, double checking everywhere the kids had already looked, and I do mean everywhere. No note, no call, nothing." I managed to get out before sobbing a bit.

"Olivia, are you okay?" He asked me, walking around his desk and putting his arm around me to comfort me.

"No. A few weeks ago Kathy and Elliot renewed their wills." I said quietly.

"Okay, and what's wrong with that?" He asked me.

"They left me as the guardian to their kids." I replied, holding back the sobs. "He left me in charge of his five kids!" I pulled out of his arm and left. "I can't-" I stuttered on. "My cases are in my top left desk drawer, I'll be back in a few days." I said as I shut the door to his office and walked out of the building as quickly as possible.

* * *

><p>I shoved the key into the lock of my apartment door. As I opened the door, I heard the mail fall onto my floor from the mail slot.<p>

"Ugh!" I yelled as I walked in, stopping to pick up the pile of letters that had fallen before making my way to my couch and collapsing on it. As I fanned through the envelopes in my hand I noticed one that wasn't like the others, that one hadn't been postmarked.

I pulled it out and looked at it carefully. The envelope was blank except for my name, neatly written in what I could instantly tell was Elliot's hand writing. The envelope was ripped open as quickly as possible, not caring whether it was recognizable or not after. The piece of paper was neatly folded inside. I quickly read the letter, feeling the tears well up in my eyes.

_Olivia-_

_I'm sorry. I can't do this right now._

_I'm sorry to do this to you, to leave Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie, Dickie, and Eli in your care. I know they are safe with you, and that there is nothing to worry about while they are in your possession though. Maureen knows where everything you need is._

_Thank you._

_El._

I read the letter over and over, trying to let it sink in. It didn't.

"Elliot, you asshole!" I yelled in frustration.

* * *

><p>I watched as the moving men moved the last of my furniture out of my apartment door, headed for the moving truck on its way to the storage locker I had rented earlier this week for all my furniture.<p>

No more than five boxes sat by the front door, waiting to be taken to the car on the way to Queens with me. I slowly carried the boxes one by one down to my car. After I had finally gotten all the boxes in my car, I walked back up to my apartment checking for anything that I was leaving one more time.

I carefully took the keys off my key ring and left them on the counter for the landlord to pick up later. The now completely empty apartment mocked me as I walked out of it. While walking down to the car, I felt the weight of the world descend upon my shoulders.

When I finally got to my car again I sat in it for a moment, knowing that as soon as I started this car, everything would change drastically. I slowly started the car, praying that the time it had sat in this parking garage didn't harm it much.

Pulling out of the parking garage, I quietly said goodbye to my apartment building and everything around it. Moving to the Stabler's house in Queens was going to be a big adjustment for everyone.

**Review? Please? Thanks! :) Until next time **


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Hey everybody! Sorry, I feel like it's been a while since I updated, but here's a new one. I hope you all enjoy chapter six. OH! And thank you to everybody who commented, I really do love to read those! Okay, I think that's all I want to say so here ya go...CHAPTER SIX :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own L&O:SVU, but I do love it :)**

**CHAPTER SIX**

"Okay…" I said as I leaned against the kitchen island trying to decide what to do for dinner.

_Calm down Olivia, it can't be as hard as it seems._ I told myself as I heard footsteps walking down the stairs.

"Olivia?" Lizzie said softly as she walked into the kitchen to join me.

"Yes sweetie?" I replied, hiding the fact that I was still freaking out a bit over everything.

"What's for dinner?" She asked me as she opened the fridge and pulled out a carton of juice.

"That's a good question Lizzie. What do you want?" I asked her, hoping she had an idea.

"I don't care." She replied as she poured some juice into a glass and put the carton back.

"Well, that's no help." I said smiling, knowing that if I didn't smile I was probably going to cry. "Uhm…how about Chinese, or pizza?" I asked.

"Whichever is fine." She answered, clearly trying not to be difficult for me.

"Lizzie, please." I said, fighting to not break down. "I need your help, just choose something please I don't care what, just choose." I asked her.

"Sorry Olivia." She said to me as she came over. "I know this isn't what you wanted or planned to do with your life. I just…I just don't want to be difficult…because I know…I just know that…that you don't have to…have to do this, take care of us I mean." She said to me softly, clearly trying to hold the sobs in.

"Lizzie," I said as I pulled her into a hug. "Don't ever think that I didn't want to do this. Please don't ever think I don't want to care for you and your siblings. I've thought of you, your siblings, and your parents as…" I struggled on the words. "family for me for a while now. Don't ever think I wouldn't have stepped up to do this for you all." I said, trying to reassure her.

"Okay." She said, pulling away while wiping her eyes. "I guess, uhm…chinese?" She said, answering my question from earlier.

"Okay, let's get your brothers and we'll go get some okay?" I asked her, watching her nod before going up stairs to get Dickie and Eli to go for dinner.

* * *

><p><strong>**Three years later**<strong>

"Lizzie! Dickie! Let's go!" I screamed from the kitchen as I finished pouring three bowls of cereal. "The milk's being poured in the cereal!" I said, warning them that if they didn't hurry they would have soggy cereal.

When I finished pouring the milk and putting it away I walked into the living room of the Stabler house. I was finally getting used to living here, after three years.

Walking into the living room I saw the almost three year old boy laying on the couch watching television quietly. "Eli?" I said quietly, careful not to scare him.

"Hi Livia!" He said as I went to sit next to him. "Look! Diego finded him!"

"I see that sweetie. Are you hungry?" I asked him.

"Yea!" He answered, jumping up quickly. "Pancakes?" He asked as he waited for me to get up.

"Not this morning buddy." I answered, walking into the kitchen and helping him into his chair before setting the bowl in front of him.

"Lizzie! Dickie!" I yelled again.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming." Lizzie said as she walked into the kitchen and grabbed her bowl of cereal to eat. "Do I look okay?" She asked, spinning as she walked to her chair across from Eli at the kitchen table.

"You look nice Liz. Where's your brother?" I said, making my way to the coffee maker for a cup.

"In the bathroom" She answered before adding. "As usual." Sarcastically remarking.

"Good God, I thought boys just rolled out of bed and were ready to go." I said back, as I walked to the foot of the stairs. "Dickie! If you aren't down here in two minutes you're going to school without breakfast! Let's go!" I said as I made my way up the stairs and into the old guest room, which was now my room.

"Like that'll work." I heard Lizzie remark quietly.

I quickly got dressed in my pant suit for work and fixed my hair before going back downstairs. On my way back downstairs I heard the normal morning routine for Lizzie and Eli while I got ready.

"Sissy?" Eli said to his sister. "What day is it?"

"It's Thursday Eli." She answered the question, acknowledging the two's morning routine.

"What happen Thursday?" He asked his sister.

"Dickie and I are going to school, you are going to Kathleen and Maureen's apartment today, and Olivia is going to work. Just like every Thursday buddy." She answered her little brother as she finished her breakfast and took her bowl to the sink.

"Oh." He answered.

"You two ready to go?" I asked as I walked in the kitchen again.

"I am, what about you Eli?" Lizzie asked her brother, picking up his breakfast bowl and putting it in the sink. Eli shook his head as he hopped down from his chair and ran towards the front door.

"Lizzie, go get your brother please." I asked her kindly as I put my coffee cup in the sink. "Eli! Can you bring your shoes in here so I can help you put them on?" I yelled from the kitchen.

Lizzie walked up the steps and yelled for her brother. "Dickie! Let's go!" I heard her say as she banged on the bathroom door.

"All right, I'm ready, God Liz." Dickie said as he opened the door.

"Let's go you two!" I yelled up the stairs as I looked down to see Eli with his power rangers back pack and his shoes on the wrong feet. "You put your shoes on by yourself? Good job!" I congratulated the little boy, laughing a little at the mistake. "You ready buddy?" I said as I picked him up and grabbed my purse and keys.

"Yea!" He replied with a huge smile.

* * *

><p>"Ready to spend the day with your sisters?" I asked Eli as we walked into the two girls' building.<p>

"I no no?" He answered me, putting his hands up in a questioning way.

"Very funny Eli." I smiled. "Do you want to knock, or should I?" I asked him as we reached their door.

"Me!" He yelled before banging his hand on his sisters' door.

The door opened quickly to reveal Kathleen holding a mug of coffee while rubbing her eyes. "Morning guys, how's it going?" She asked as she let us in.

"Good morning Kathleen, long night?" I asked in what almost sounded like a motherly voice.

"Studying for midterms, I promise you, they will be the death of me." She responded. "Maur! Liv and Eli are here!" She yelled towards Maureen's bedroom door, causing a thud to be heard.

"I take it she isn't out of bed yet?" I asked, laughing as I said the words.

"How'd you guess?" Kathleen replied to me.

"Lucky guess." I smiled. "Okay buddy, I'll be back later okay?" I said as I set Eli down on the floor.

"Hey Olivia." Maureen said to me as she walked out of her bedroom.

"Morning Maureen, are you studying for midterms too?" I asked, watching her freeze before turning around to look at me.

"Yea, midterms, yea they're brutal." She replied, obviously following the agreement that if we don't want to share we just agree to whatever the other said that was made a couple years ago.

"Livvie?" Eli said in the sweetest voice, drawing the attention away from the blushing Maureen. "You catch bad guys, tay?" He told me, causing a smile to grow on my face.

"I promise buddy." I said as I hugged him. "I will see you all later, bye!" I said before walking out the door and heading towards the precinct.

**So? Please review! I will work on the next chapter and hopefully have it out soon :) Until next time...**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Hello everybody! Well, here's chapter seven :) But first, I wanted to explain something from chapter six, I don't exactly know what I imagined Maureen doing that she's hiding from Olivia just that it's something she didn't want to share and Kathleen was really studying, sorry for that confusion. I also wanted to explain that Eli doesn't call Olivia 'mom' because they have all explained to him what happened, as much as you can to a child. I hope that clears up any confusion that ya'll had. Thanks for all the comments :) Here's the newest installment!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine :(**

**CHAPTER SEVEN**

"Olivia! Thank god! You're a saint!" Fin greeted me as he saw me walk in with a cardboard tray of coffee.

"Haha, why do you say that today Fin?" I asked, setting everything down at my desk before handing him his cup.

"Munch made sludge again this morning." He grumbled, holding out his hands for the coffee cup like a small child.

All I could do was laugh as Munch walked into the bull pen. "Well, that case is finished. What's so funny?" He asked as he saw the laughter caked on my face.

"Nothing John, here, want some coffee?" I asked him, holding out his cup.

"Oh thank god! I thought I was actually going to have to drink that crud I made!" He answered, grabbing the cup from my hands.

"So the Mare's case is finished?" I asked hopefully, taking a sip of my coffee as I waited for the answer.

"Yep!" I heard Munch answer. "Why do you seem so hopeful for it?"

""Nothing really, just something I've been working on lately." I answered, trying to hide the facts of what I wanted to work on.

"He will come back when he's ready baby girl." Fin said quietly.

"I'm not working on that Fin!" I yelled at him. "And I'm not sure he'll know when that is..." I whispered.

"Sure Olivia, sure." He sarcastically replied as I sat down at my computer, hitting the power button before getting situated.

Everything around me seemed to disappear as I started working on my computer again. I had come so close to finding Elliot for the third time in the past couple of weeks and I wasn't about to let him slip through my fingers again. I couldn't.

* * *

><p>I spent the whole day working on my 'search and rescue' as I called it.<p>

"Olivia? Olivia, come on, it's closing time." Munch said, gently shaking me out of my haze. "See now if we had that bar-"

"Munch, how many times do we have to explain to you, none of us are going to help you buy a bar!" I heard Fin yell at his partner, causing a small smile to make it's way to my face.

"I'm just saying it'd be a great investment!" Munch countered. "Think about it, it'd be fun, wouldn't it?"

"No! Shut it with that bar Munch!" Fin yelled.

"What do you need Munch?" I asked, turning in my chair to look at the two, trying to avoid the fight that was surely coming.

"It's six thirty, we can go home now…" Munch gently said.

"I'm gonna do a little extra work tonight, I'm so close to figuring this out." I said, praying they wouldn't crucify me for my choice again.

"All right, well don't stay too late. Say hi to the kids for me." Fin commented as he walked out.

"Don't work too late Olivia." Munch warned as he followed.

My fingers began to race across the keyboard again.

"Yes!" I yelled out, finally pin pointing exactly where Elliot lived now. I was soon scared by the voice of my captain calling my name.

"Olivia, what are you still doing here?" He asked me, walking over and standing next to my desk.

"I…uh…well…" I stuttered, knowing that I wasn't supposed to be working on this. "I found him. I found Elliot captain?" I said, questioningly.

"Olivia, I thought we agreed that he would come back when he is ready." He tried to offer.

"We did…over two and a half years ago Captain." I answered. "This is ridiculous! Don't take this the wrong way but those children are _his_ children! His son called me 'mom' up until six months ago when we finally explained that I am not his mother!" I started to break down. "I'm raising his kids Captain! As if I didn't have enough on my plate before everything happened, I love those kids don't get me wrong, but they deserve to have at least one of the parent's around for their lives." I rambled. "I mean he's missed almost everything in Eli's life!"

"Olivia, are you okay? Do you need to talk to Huang?" Cragen asked me.

"No, I'm fine captain." I replied, trying to hold in the anger. "I'm just gonna need a couple days off." I told him.

"Olivia…" He said my name in a very worried tone. "What are you going to do?"

"Nothing that he doesn't already have coming to him captain." I replied.

"Olivia I understand you are mad but I'm not sure this is the right thing to do." He told me, trying to talk me out of my decision.

"Captain, with all due respect, I don't care." I said to him. "Elliot needs to face the music, he's had three years to hide from it, it's time, I can't be filling in for him forever." I finished as I got up from my desk, put on my jacket, and started to leave.

"Olivia, don't do anything stupid." Captain Cragen said as I walked out.

"Thanks captain, I'll be back soon." I said over my shoulder.

* * *

><p>"Olivia, where are you going?" Lizzie asked as she sat next to my suitcase on my bed.<p>

"I'm going to get something that belongs here." I answered her as I threw clothing into the bag.

"What about Dickie, Eli, and me?" I heard her ask. "How long are you going to be gone?" She added.

"You three are going to stay with Maur and Kathleen for a few days." I answered her. "I won't be gone that long."

"Okay, I'll go throw some stuff in a bag for me and Eli then." She said to me before leaving.

As I finished packing everything started to almost feel like it was falling into place again. "Dickie! Lizzie! We're leaving in ten minutes!" I yelled out my door before grabbing my bag off my bed and walked out, careful to shut the door behind me.

**So? Please review :) Until next time...**


	8. Chapter 8

******Author's Note: Heyy everybody, so first off I'm sorry it's been a while since upload, I've had a lot going on, second, I'm so sorry it is kind of short, and third, here ya go! :) Hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own L&O:SVU :(**

**CHAPTER EIGHT**

"Hello?" I said into my phone as I walked into my hotel room, throwing my bag down on the bed and sitting next to it.

"Olivia? Olivia, where are you?" I heard Maureen ask with people talking in the background.

"Why? What's wrong sweetie?" I asked, worried that I had forgotten something.

"I was worried when I got home and Lizzie and Dickie were here with Eli. I thought maybe since Kathleen and I are both older now that you…you well…you left like dad did." She replied to me, obviously fighting tears.

"Maureen, I wouldn't leave you all, Cragen asked me to…go somewhere for…something." I told her, knowing I couldn't sound anymore discreet.

"How long are you going to be gone?" she asked me.

"A few days max, I'll be back soon. I have to go now, I've got something to do." I said into the phone.

"See you when you get back then. Love you." She said to me, as if I were her mother or step-mother, causing me to cry.

"Bye sweetie." I answered before hanging up. "Elliot how could you do this." I said to the empty hotel room around me. It was nice, but without anybody else it seemed empty. I had become accustomed to having people around since I had become the guardian to Maureen, Kathleen, Lizzie, Dickie, and Eli. Without any kids around, it seemed strange now.

I looked around the room, trying to decide how I would go about confronting Elliot before deciding to approach somewhere he can't run from me again.

I grabbed my purse and room key before leaving the room and making my way out.

* * *

><p>"I'm looking for one of the detectives who works here please." I said to the desk officer at the front door when I walked in.<p>

"And who are you?" The woman asked me, trying to hide the attitude plastered on her face.

"Detective Olivia Benson." I stated as I pulled out my badge while I said it, knowing it would probably help.

"He's on the third floor, homicide." She answered before looking down at her computer again.

"Thank you." I said as I walked over to the elevator and made my way up to the third floor.

As the doors opened I noticed how different the 1-6 precinct was compared to this one. It wasn't an SVU precinct and it looked nothing like the one I was used to.

"My name is Detective Reynolds, can I help you with something miss?" A young guy asked me as he stood and walked up towards me.

"No, sorry I was actually looking for one of your other detectives." I answered kindly, hoping I hadn't just offended the detective.

"Maybe I can help you with that, can I ask who you are looking for?" The young guy smiled.

"Detective Stabler?" I questioned.

"If you want to sit here," he said as he pointed to the desk he was just sitting at. "I can go find him for you."

"Thank you." I said as I sat, knowing the feeling in the room would soon go from nice, to being awkward…at best.

As I sat there I studied the surroundings, the lower ceilings, the brighter lighting, the pale blue painted walls, the quietness that came with being anywhere but New York City. While looking around I heard his voice from one of the surrounding rooms.

"What?" I heard him yell.

Detective Reynolds repeated himself again before the yelling repeated itself.

"Who is here to see me?" I heard him yell at Detective Reynolds who I had just talked to.

As he kept yelling, I followed the sound of his familiar voice and found the room where it was coming from.

As I turned the corner I noticed his back to the door and the detective looking petrified as Elliot yelled at him.

"Stop yelling at him Elliot, he was only doing what I asked him to." I stated, watching my old partner turn around to investigate who was talking to him.

"Olivia?" He questioned me standing in front of him.

"Honey I'm home." I joked with him as he just stood there.

"What are you doing here?" He asked with an angry expression on his face.

"I'm here to find you, for the sake of your kids." I stated, starting to match his anger. "Are you the only one who can do whatever you want?"

"Olivia-" He started sternly.

"Don't Olivia me. You were the one who left! So don't even try to scold me!" I yelled at him, scaring Detective Reynolds, who I'd dealt with earlier. "Who do you think you are Elliot? I thought maybe when I got here, just maybe, that you would have open arms for me, a smile, that maybe everything would work out, but I can see I was wrong. Goodbye Elliot." I all but yelled as I walked out of the room and made my way back to the elevator.

While walking away I heard Elliot's voice quietly start to curse.

**So...please review, tell me what you think I love reading them! :) Until next time...**


	9. Chapter 9

******Author's note: Heyy everybody! The comments have been really great, thank you all! I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as the others. So without further the delay, here you go...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own L&O:SVU :(**

**CHAPTER NINE**

"Livvie Livvie! We had pizza for dinner tonight!" Eli yelled into the phone.

"Eli, that isn't that exciting. You had pizza for dinner last week." I heard one of his sisters in the background.

"Is too!" I heard him yell back, knowing that he was probably sticking his tongue out right about now.

"Eli! You're on the phone, stop talking to us while you're on the phone!" What sounded like Lizzie yelled.

"Lizzie! You're getting water everywhere!" I could hear Kathleen yelled towards her sister.

"Sorry!" She yelled back.

"Swimming!" I heard Eli yell excitedly.

"Eli, you can't go swimming in a puddle in the middle of the kitchen floor." Dickie stated, sounding like he was annoyed.

I sat on my bed laughing as I heard the kids fighting. "How do you all even fit into that kitchen?" I asked into the phone.

"What?" Eli responded to me.

"Eli, can you hand the phone to one of you siblings please?" I asked him, still smiling at the commotion.

"Maurie!" I heard him yell to his oldest sister. "Maurie! Livvie wants you!"

"Okay, hold on." I could hear her yelling. "Dickie mop up the water, would you please? Kathleen, can you give Eli a bath and get him ready for bed please? Lizzie, finish the dishes up and go finish whatever you were doing on the computer, I need to finish my English paper." She ordered her siblings around. "Hey Olivia, what's up?"

"Who are you and what have you done with my crazy Maureen Stabler?" I said into the phone, referring to her handling of her siblings.

"Haha you're very funny." She replied. "How's everything?" She repeated.

"It's…it's complicated to say the least sweetie. How's everything with you all?" I asked her.

"It's fine, Dickie just loves sharing the pullout couch with Eli, and Lizzie is ecstatic about sharing Kathleen's bed." She explained.

"How did you end up not having to share a bed?" I asked.

"Well, nobody wanted to share the bed with me and my boy-" She froze when she realized what she was about to say. "I just lucked out." She quickly said.

"Maureen, I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that, just don't do anything stupid." I told her. "Are Dickie and Lizzie getting to school on time? Is Eli being good?" I asked, knowing I sounded more like a mother than I ever have before.

"Yea, they've made it on time both mornings, and Eli is just fine. But you still haven't answered me fully Olivia, how is everything. Where are you even?" She responded.

I heard a knock on my door and got up as I started to answer her. "I told you already Maureen, the captain needed me to go get something for him." As I opened the door I was shocked.

"Hi Liv." He said as he stood in front of me.

"Olivia? Who's that?" I heard Maureen ask on the phone.

"I'll...I'll call you tomorrow honey." I said as I stared at him and hung up the phone. "What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"Can I come in?" He asked, pushing his way in a little.

"Why should I let you?" I asked him, knowing that eventually I would let him in.

"Because you owe me since you yelled at me earlier today." He responded.

"How did you even know where I was staying?" I asked him.

"I'm a cop." He replied "It wasn't hard to find you. Now can we talk?" He asked me.

"About what _Elliot_?" I asked him, not trying to hide the attitude bleeding from my voice.

"You know exactly what _Olivia_." He answered, mocking my tone.

"Fine," I said, stepping aside and let him in. "Talk." I commanded as I shut the door.

"How are they? My kids, how are they?" He asked me as he sat down in the desk chair.

"They're doing well, Maureen and Kathleen share an apartment and are both going to college. Dickie and Lizzie are both doing well in school, and Eli is starting preschool in the fall. They are all doing perfectly fine, no thanks to their father." I answered.

"I couldn't do it Olivia." He told me. "I thought I was doing what was best."

"How could you have thought that was best Elliot?" I asked him. "You left your five children, one being only days old, with your partner, who never had kids nor knew how to raise them. How could you think that was best El?" I continued, feeling the tears starting to well.

"I thought it was best because I knew you would be there for them Liv, just like you always have been for me. I knew you wouldn't let them down." He said, standing and walking over to envelope me in a hug. "I knew you would take care of them."

I pulled away after a moment. "Don't think you're forgiven Elliot. Do you know what I've been through since you've been gone?" I said to him. "Do you know how hard it was to tell your kids that their father left them? How hard it was trying to explain to Eli when he started to talk and would say 'momma', that I wasn't his mother, how hard it was when he asked 'mommy where daddy?' Explaining to the captain and the squad that I couldn't do overtime anymore, that I had to be out on time. How hard it was to get time off for their sports and school events. Do you know how hard it is to take care of five children who aren't even your own. I mean, I love your kids and I would have taken them in again in a heartbeat, don't get me wrong, but Elliot, they are your kids. I love them but they are your kids, and they need you."

"I know that Olivia, and I'm sorry, but I needed to get away. I couldn't handle it." He replied.

"You couldn't handle it Elliot, I watched Kathy die, and I held Eli while she took her last breaths. I didn't get to run away when life got hard for me, why did you?" I spoke.

"I know, I'm sorry Olivia." He said, pulling me in for another hug as he saw the tears over flowing in my eyes.

I stood in his arms for a little while, silently thinking. "Elliot?" His name stumbled out of my mouth finally.

"Yes?" He answered.

"Please come back." I all but begged of him. "Please, your kids need you." I said, before adding quietly, "I need you."

* * *

><p>"Ready to go?" I asked when Elliot opened his front door?<p>

He nodded as he pulled his suitcase out into the hall and turned to shut and lock his door. "Let's go." He said to me as we walked down the hall.

**So...? Please review, I love reading them!**

**Note: This story is coming to an end soon, so...yea... :)**


	10. Chapter 10

******Author's Note: Heyy everybody! Thank you for the amazingly positive feedback! I'm glad you all have enjoyed this story :) I don't want to keep you too long in this author's note so without further adieu, CHAPTER TEN...**

**Disclaimer: I am not Dick Wolf, therefore I do not own L&O:SVU...sadly **

**CHAPTER TEN**

"You ready?" I asked him for what must have been the millionth time as we stood outside Maureen and Kathleen's apartment door, able to hear the Stabler children all fighting over something.

"I don't know Liv." He replied to my question, obviously worried about it all.

"Elliot, that was a rhetorical question. I don't really care if you are or not. You have no say in this matter anymore." I stated before turning and opening the door.

"Livvie!" I heard Eli yell as the door opened followed by the sound of footsteps and a small child running into my legs. "I missed you!" He said to me, clutching my legs for dear life.

"Buddy, I was only gone for three days." I said to him as I tried to pry him off my legs so I could move out of the doorway.

"They was long days." He replied to me, causing me to laugh.

"All right, I'm sorry Eli," I said as I finished laughing. "but I have a surprise for you and you brother and sisters." I told him, watching his eyes light up at the thought of a surprise.

"What'd ya bring us Liv?" Maureen asked as she joined Eli and me.

"Is it good?" Lizzie asked, walking over.

"God Liz, can you be any ruder?" Dickie said, lounging on the couch.

"You're the one laying on the couch instead of getting up to greet her!" She fired back at her twin brother.

"Would you two shut up for like two minutes?" Kathleen said, walking out of her bedroom. "Hey Olivia." She said to me.

"Hold on everybody, it's in the hall." I said, managing to pry Eli off my legs and take the three steps back to retrieve Elliot from the hall.

"El?" I whispered, not seeing him. At that second I heard the elevator ding and looked to see the doors closing between him and I. I could see the sorry expression on his face as they closed, which just angered me. "Not again." I said as I started running for the stairs in an effort to race the elevator down the five flights of stairs to the main floo.

As I made it into the lobby I saw him walking out the front doors. "Elliot!" He turned at the sound of his name. "Don't you do this to them again. Don't you _dare_ do this to me again." I said, knowing that through the mess of people in the lobby right now and through all the sound going on around us, he could tell what I was saying.

We stood and stared at each other for a moment before I walked out the doors and stood in front of him again.

"What the hell are you doing Elliot Stabler?" I asked him, reaching for his bag.

"I can't do this Liv, I just can't. They're happy, how can I take that from them." He said to me, dodging my attempt to take his bag.

"Elliot, please." I all but begged.

"What can I say to them?" He asked. "I'm sorry I left, I couldn't handle it so I ditched you for another state, another job, another life all together, all because your mother died, hope you don't mind I missed the last three years of everybody's life. No Olivia, No."

"Elliot, get your head out of your ass for five minutes, and go reconnect with your kids." I demanded, managing to grab the bag in his hand. "We aren't fighting over this again, now let's go." I stated as I pulled him back into the building and towards the elevators.

As we made it back to the correct floor I noticed Maureen standing in the hall.

"Olivia, what was that?" She asked me before noticing the man behind me. "Dad?" She questioned, letting everything sink in before running past me and into his chest. "Dad! You're back!" She all but cried into her father as he closed his arms around his oldest daughter.

"Hey kiddo." Elliot said, obviously at a loss for words, causing some small tears to start welling up in his eyes that I didn't see him try to wipe away.

After about a minute Maureen managed to pull Elliot into the apartment and to the living room where Elliot was enveloped in hugs from his four oldest children while I stood by watching.

"Livvie?" I heard Eli say as he tugged on my pant leg.

"Hey sweetie, what's up?" I asked him, kneeling to his level.

"Who's dat?" He asked me, looking at Elliot. My heart broke when I realized that the last time Eli saw his father, he was only days old.

"Eli," I said to him as I picked him up and stood. "That is your daddy." I answered. "Ellliot." I yelled over all the commotion.

"Yes Olivia?" He answered as soon as everything quieted down.

"Somebody here would like to know who you are." I smiled as I walked over with Eli clinging to me.

"Eli?" Elliot said as he slowly tried to take him from my arms.

"It's okay bud." Maureen said to her little brother. "That's daddy." She stated, seeming to make everything right in the world again.

* * *

><p>"Thank you Olivia." Elliot said as he walked into the kitchen of my- his house. Everybody had come back here earlier tonight, wanting to spend as much time as possible with Elliot.<p>

"What for?" I asked as I finished loading the dishwasher with the plates from the pizza feast that we had for dinner.

"For everything." He stated simply. "I owe you big time."

"Yes. You do." I replied, turning to look at the man who had become my life since the first time I stepped into the 1-6 precinct. He owed me more than big time, and he would never forget it.

**So? I hope ya'll liked it. I plan on this being the last chapter, I have left room for a sequel if I ever have the time and feel like writing it, I have enjoyed everybody's comments and look forward to this chapters. Thank you all so much! Until my next story... :)**


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